projectsex’s blog

After saying I was too tired to masturbate I sat around a little while and now I've had a change of heart.  I never replied to a cuddle invitation so I'm stuck here with my dick in my hand - literally.  

Back in town... Before even going to my apartment I went to the gym.  If I'm going to have the confidence to hook up with guys I need to work out and be as fit as possible.  I exhausted myself biking, lifting, and running on the treadmill.  I had my trifecta of supplemental protein: protein bar, protein water, and now, protein shake (that's not a euphenism, I'm really drinking a protein shake).  Finally, after the gym I took the train home and drug my bag up the stairs of my walk-up apartment.  Collapsing into my chair I find this email:

Hi [me]

Are you still interested in cuddling?  I am sorry had to travel for work and it seems that all hell broke lose.

Let me know,

Cheers

[name deleted]

It's from a nice guy in Chelsea I chatted with a bit last week.  And yes, I would love to cuddle.  Hell, a quick hug would be nice right now.  But I'm so wiped I don't think I can go out again.  Like a mid-90s Alanis video I work out so much to enable contact with men and it leaves me incapable.  Isn't it ironic, don't you think?  

There will be cuddle time in my future but for now my gay agenda involves collapsing on the couch.  Pathetic, I don't think I even have the energy to rub one out.  

Okay, first step, I added myself to a few groups:

Gay Boys [this is gay!]

Perverts' Playground

Queer Vox

They look interesting and people who belong to those groups may be interested in following my experiences.  I'm out of town right now visiting some friends so I don't think I can pursue sex all that much.  But as soon as I'm back in Manhattan I'll see what I can do.

What would you do if you wanted to gain sexual experience but didn't know any gay people or even where to begin.  Since I don't think I have any readers just yet, the question is rhetorical and universal. 

I’m a twenty-something gay man in Manhattan.  I don’t have much experience with sex and so I have decided to try to remedy that.  I am beginning this blog to chronicle my exploration.

I’m not sure why I haven’t had more sex.  It’s complex.  For starters, I’m a handsome, fit guy but I don’t have that perfectly carved out look many gay men possess and seek.  Still though, plenty of unattractive men get laid and I’m not all that unattractive.  I’m moderately nice looking.  I have always been self-conscious though and I know that has been an inhibitor.  I also haven’t pursued it all that much.  I have a lot of friends and am extremely self-reliant.  I’m a work-o-holic and haven’t been very concerned with seeking partners.  This is now changing.

I’ve come to the realization that sex is never going to just fall in my lap; literally or figuratively.  So, I’m going to have to go after it.  This blog will be my record of that quest.  I hope to write about asking guys out, what I do with them if I get the opportunity, and how I feel about the whole process.  Of course, this blog will remain anonymous for me and anyone mentioned.  

I define the mission of this blog widely.  Since most of my sex life centers around masturbation I will have to post about that.  I have two good possessions in that area: 1, a nice little vibrator I got from a sex shop in New York and 2, a large black dildo I bought in Amsterdam.  The latter is top-of-the-line and very stylish.  I’ve had a lot of fun with these toys and don’t intend to stop.  But I also hope to add some experience with the real thing, too.

My history so far:  I’ve kissed a few guys and went down on one years ago.  I’ve been on a few dates in the past year and masturbated with a guy on line.  That’s it.  So, I look forward to that day I make the exciting announcement that I have lost my virginity.  I want to experience receiving head and being both a top and bottom in anal sex.  I say I’m gay but I’m not sure I have the experience to qualify.  

My regular friends don’t know about this blog and they may be surprised to know how little experience I have.  But, I would like an audience.  I’ll accept as a friend anyone that wants to be added.  I think this will make an interesting project and I hope my readers enjoy the unfolding narrative.  I welcome any comments, advice, suggestions, insights, and even condemnations.  

Here we go...